Gonzales, Attorney General v. Carhart et al

(warning, I ramble and may not always have coherent thoughts that flow well...)

This is more commonly referred to as the Partial Birth Abortion ruling upheld on April 18 by the Supreme Court. I came across this case in two different circumstances. I am taking a US Constitution Class to renew my teaching certificate and we were asked to pick a 'landmark' case and discuss. I had remembered from reading Bitch PhD some articles - here, here and here - regarding this case. So I looked it up to do my research.

Let me sidebar here for a minute. I am pro-choice. My religion is fanatically pro-life. (I guess I'm going to hell for that, but hey, let's just add that to the list of reasons why...) Although I don't think that I could ever go through an abortion, I do believe a woman has a right over her body and what she does or does not do with it. That's also why I believe in birth control. It's my body, my life and I'll make the decisions about what I'm doing with it. Another reason I am pro-choice is the consequences if Roe v Wade is overturned. Instead of having abortions done in a sanitary, safe place with a trained doctor, it'll be done back door and many more women will be harmed and possibly die due to a procedure that is not done correctly or regulated.

That being said, I went on to read the majority opinion written by Justice Kennedy. It can be confusing, but I found myself following it pretty well. Then I got to Section 1, Part A. It gave a clinical description of what happens during the procedure, then it gives a nurse's testimony. I thought I was going to throw up right then and there. I can't cut and paste what she said, you'll have to scroll down to read it in the opinion, and be warned, it is heart wrenching (at least to me.)

I have had a history of post partum depression. After my son, I was on medication for three years. Two months into this pregnancy, I got back on the medication because I was becoming a mess of emotions again and couldn't control myself. I didn't have problems getting pregnant with either of my children, although it took longer with Baby L than Little Guy. Other than the wildly fluctuating hormones, (and the damn diabetes) I had pretty normal pregnancies. There is no reason for me to go to pieces the way I did, except for the hormones. And even that didn't make sense to me.

I was sitting at the computer with Baby L in the swing next to me sleeping (the only time I can get schoolwork done is when the kiddos are sleeping!). She has a habit of jerking her arms out away from her body when she is startled, mostly in her sleep. So when I read what the nurse had to say, all I could think of was Baby L doing the same thing. It was heartbreaking. It disturbed me then, hubby could tell something was wrong when he came home, and it is still bothering me.

I have no problem with the concept of having an abortion in the first trimester. However, by the second trimester, things should be considerably set in motion. I know that some people don't know their pregnant right away, hell, it took me two months to figure it out with Baby L and we were actively trying to get pregnant. But to wait until after the third month to decide that the pregnancy isn't what you want? I don't get it. I can understand if it involves a birth defect, the test for Downs isn't done until the second trimester and then you have a decision to make. And in some cases, as noted above in Bitch PhD, it is necessary.

I guess my biggest wonder/concern/whatever, is that a person can 1) do the procedure, and do it over and over again (ie a doctor) and 2) the woman who has made this decision knowing and still making this decision (excluding life threatening cases).

I love my children, I love them to distraction. I probably spoil them too much, but they are my life. Even if we had gotten pregnant unexpectedly, abortion wouldn't be an option for us. I can see where for some, that would be an acceptable option.

This has caused some real conflicting emotions for me. While I am a firm believer in a woman's right to choose (abortion, birth control, etc), I am opposed to this procedure being done just because, or without a health risk to mother or unborn child.

In my little world, I don't think this ruling will touch me. At least, I hope this ruling will not have any opportunity to touch me. But for the women that this does touch, man, I wouldn't want to be in their shoes...